i am so much hungry (or at least i think so since my stomach's aching like mad)

but forget the hunger. i wanna share to the whole wide world (or world wide web, whatever) the bliss i feel right now.

at this very moment, i am in cloud nine. not because i have succesfully digged out love from some uncanny mouse hole. not because i have successfully gotten to the number one dean's lister spot (dream on, fella). not because i have successfully taken westlife up as this year's mtv asia awards best pop act (bsb's on top and simple plan's already far by a few percent). not even because i'm flying tomorrow.

but its this |-----| close to that.

my anxiety level during the past days has gotten back to level four. yes, i have let the dean sign my excuse letter for advancing some of the exams (the ones scheduled for the last day which is on the 24th). but fellas, it was monday and i have failed to talk well with ma'am famorca (my OB prof) about when i should take her exam! these was my sched for the finals:

22nd : 0900-1030 = pedia
23rd : 0730-0900 = physics
24th : 0730-0900 = philo ; 1030-1200 = OB

see? kung ano pa yung "hindi dapat na day" dun pa yung dalawa ang eksam.

pfft.

i managed to talk with my philo prof last week so that i can take the test on the first day right after my pedia but i oh-so-failed to talk with my OB prof! twas the reason why just this past monday, i was out of my right thinking, loosening my grip on my responsibility as a "leader" for our final paper in english. i told them "sorry. sorry. sorry. i couldnt be with you (to fix the dratted work). i have to see ma'am famorca. its very important."

so there i was, afternoon of march 20th, briskly walking around like a lost kiddo, looking for a chance to coincide with ma'am around the college's vicinity. i double and triple (and quadruple?) checked the copy of the professors' schedules in the nursing office. maam famorca had lecture classes only in the morning. (oh, she didnt meet us that morning anymore since we were done with our lessons already).

and it was an afternoon. a painful humid afternoon. painful to the skin, painful to the eyes. and excruciating for me since i have not seen ma'am anywhere!(and neither did my two other professors whom i have asked about)...

it was past two in the afternoon. i tried to compose myself and go about assissting my groupmates with our paper. i was anxious. uber. but i thought, i couldnt just leave them alone. what was i? a loafer? i didnt dare let them think so...

by four i told them im leaving again to check maam. the last time i checked her sched, it said she had RLE classes in the afternoon. my spirits went up a little. maybe i could stay by the ctawalk just outside the buliding and wait till she comes out to go home. it wouldnt be a perfect meeting since i am asking for a very big favor. but there was no other way. the flight was four days away and i didnt have her assurance yet. i could not leave with my grades incomplete. neither did i want to stay and disappoint everybody else.

so i waited. from sixteen o'clock i waited. half an hour passed. another. and so did two more. i gave up.

i stormed away from our building with a heavy load.

on the way home i received an sms. it was the class pesident whom i have texted earlier to get maam famorca's number. he did give the number, adding "nagrereply yun, dont worry."

anxiety level down to 3.

at home i texted maam. it was not until past twenty three o'clock that she replied. and she did with an indifferent text. there was no time nor place about the advanced exam. so i replied, asking again.

the next day (yesterday), she responded. there was no specific time still since she said "what time are you available? preferebaly in the pm" but there was a place. the faculty room.

anxiety level down to 2.

of course i replied to that. and since i originally wanted to take the exam at the earliest possible time, i said i was available at 10am.but of course i indicated a pm time since she asked for that.

no reply. anxiety level up by point 1.

today i went to take my pedia exam. sir angeles announced that he would be giving our video quiz (which was actually set today) tomorrow at lunch time.

lunch time.

lunch time.

lunch time.

trouble.

pano na si maam famorca?! si maam famorca na una kong kinausap! si maam famorca na naka-sun kaya nakakahiyang itext dahil mahal pag nagreply siya!

after pedia (wherein i had trouble analyzing the questions since my bladder felt like bursting and i wasnt allowed to relieve myself. i think i had several "sayang" answers.), i succesfully took the philo exam. (thanks sir manaloto!) even that was a stiffening challenge since the freshmen whom i was taking the exams with, were very quick to finish. of course i didnt want to be left alone. of course. so i rushed the quiz. and thank God, i didnt have to be left.

finally i went to check the faculty room to see if i could talk to either maam famorca or sir angeles (just to ask if we couldnt take the pedia exam earlier). sir wasnt around. but maam was. i approached her. she asked a few questions. she asked for a copy of the ticket. i explained about the rough sched tomorrow.

voila.

anxiety level dropping to point 5.

she decided to leave the paper in the office so that i could take the exam when i am available. she bade me "happy trip". she gave me my current cloud nine.

so now you ask why the anxiety level? well, of course. i am only human. i could not be relaxed with two upcoming exams tomorrow. not at all, my friend. not at all.